Monday, January 07, 2008

The Naming of Things

For the past few years, I've cycled through countless snails in my little two-gallon aquarium.

While I have no reason to believe I'm doing anything wrong in procuring the longevity of these creatures, I'm always a wee bit disheartened when I realize another critter has met its demise while in my care.

But this hasn't prevented me from continuing to rely on the golden apple snail as a companion for my fancy tail goldfish, Jude.

Suffice it to say I grew tired of coming up with new names for my snails (they didn't come to me regardless of what I called them), so I always referred to them simply as Bartleby (because snails prefer to not do much) and Billybudd (because I imagine that — much like their form of locomotion — they'd stutter if they could talk).

That is to say, every time I acquired two new snails, they acquired those two old names.

But my aquarium has been snail-less the past few weeks, an isolation I remedied last night by adding two new, smaller species to the mix.

Driving home and considering what to name them, I decided it was time for a change of tune, if you will.

I'm calling the bigger one Eleanor. The smaller one: Prudence.


=) said...

I think Eleanor is a fine name for a FAT creature. The only other Eleanor (Nora) that I know has some serious weight issues too!

BTW--How do you tell a snail's gender?

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Ah, man. I forgot that Nora's real name is Eleanor! Oh, well. Don't tell your sis.

As for checking a snail's gender: very carefully .

And because I'm too lazy to bother, these two critters could both be boys for all I know. But I look at it this way: if they're males, they probably did something terribly wrong at some point and so deserve to be called inappropriate names.

Franki said...

My aunt and uncle cycled thru 5 dogs during the time that I knew them. They were all the same breed, all named Candy. I found it a lil creepy.

But snails don't quite become part of the family the way a cat or dog does.

Woodrow said...

The boy recently received a bearded dragon. With my brother's help, he named it Godzilla.

XOXO said...

For the record, Eleanor does not like it when you call her fat. It hurts her feelings. So you "accidently" named your pet after mine? Well, it's safe to say nora isn't jealous, more proud than anything.

=) said...

I once had a boyfriend who thought he was being helpful to girls when he called them fat. Thought it was a way to motivate them to NOT be fat. Man. Can't believe I let HIM get away.

And for the record...It hurts MY feelings when she passes that horrible gas!

Supafly Turbo Cyborg said...

Is there really a need for a snail naming convention? I guess I would probably go with something more white trashy, since their homes are mobile.

Supafly Turbo Cyborg said...

Also, in response to Longeyes Smileyface: A girl once asked me if some pants made her a$$ look fat when she was trying them on. I replied, "No. Your a$$ makes your a$$ look fat." The look on the sales woman's face was worth the subsequent break up.

M@ said...

I love how some people are even lamer than me. That's wonderful.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Franki - Yeah, that is pretty creepy. Dogs aren't quite as "disposable" as snails. And by that I mean, their life spans are considerably different.

Woodrow - Does he eat crickets? The dragon, not the boy.

XOXO - I didn't name my snails after your dog. Besides, I'm not calling it Nora. Though if it helps, I could change its name to Penny Lane or something... they'd hardly know the difference. But then again, that's not entirely the theme I was going for.

=) - Likewise. It's so gross! Though sometimes I think Nora is just taking the blame for her owner.

STC - That cracked me up. Really.

M@ - Don't be hatin'.