Sunday, January 27, 2008

It's Not Delivery, It's Degrading



No longer afraid of people, Maude stood in front of the open doorway, staring up at the pizza delivery guy.

"Wow, that's a big cat," he said. "A really big cat."

"Yeah, she's big-boned," I explained.

"Oh, really?" he said, obviously not buying my lame excuse for Maude's recent obesity.

"OK," I admitted. "Maybe she's had a little too much pizza."

"You feed that cat pizza?" His face turned serious. Concerned, even.

"No," I said. "I was kidding. She's fat. She's on light food now -- promise."

I turned to Maude, sighing. She glared up at the pizza guy, her feelings obviously hurt by his disparaging remarks.

11 comments:

Tara said...

Poor Maude, suffering from the last legal prejudice - fatophobia.

Supafly Turbo Cyborg said...

Reason #532.7: You defend your cat(s) brontosaurs-like bone structure to the pizza guy.

Eli said...

awwww....

disgruntled world citizen said...

she's a beautiful cat. i love that white bib she has! besides, she looks like she has some persian cat in her somewhere, they tend to be boxy and stubby and a bit chubby. i like the fact that she looks like she is either smiling or sticking her tongue out at you when you took the pic. stay strong maude!

XOXO said...

here,here!! Stay strong!
(TWP-I'm sure you will be reading these comments to your dearly beloved to boost her moral)

Jonas said...

Those eyes!

Meh said...

I love Maude! Like "Punchkin," she just has more to love. :)

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Tara - If she keeps this up, she'll qualify for disability.

STC - You just hurt Maude's feelings.

Eli - :)

DWC - She has Siamese in her, I believe. Don't know about Persian. Are Siamese cats ever fat? Let's say so. Let's say it's in her genes. Yeah, that's it...

XOXO - Are you saying my cat's immoral?

Just kidding. I sometimes wonder if she knows she's famous on the internet. And then I remember she's a cat. In which case... no... probably not.

Jonas - Oh, man. Now I have the Guess Who song in my head.

Meh - Maybe Punchkin and Maude could be workout partners?

Jonas said...

Oh great! Now you've got me hearing it...over and over again...

Stacy said...

Darn it, Jonah beat me to it. I wanted to say she has really pretty eyes though.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Jonas - Now you know how I felt. :)

Stacy - In other words, "she's chubby but she has a really pretty face"?