Wednesday, June 07, 2006

The Life and Times of a Social Outcast (Part 2 of 2)

Take my work place, as another example. Among my many other responsibilities, I write up new employee biographies for our newsletter. 2 out of 3 females list shoe shopping, clothes shopping and/or shopping in general as a favored hobby.

Though I've had plenty of practice with these interviews, I never know what to say about that "hobby." The end result: I eagerly await their response to the next question, which I always hope will be something I can either relate to... or make an unoffensive joke about.

If I voluntarily go into a store, it's either REI, a used bookstore, an art store, or something comparable. And while I "like" new clothes well enough, I don't like the process it takes to acquire them. Shopping, in most instances, tires me. And I most definitely can't turn shopping into viable conversation.

But it doesn't stop there. If you think I'm up for political conversation, you should know I think as fondly of Democrats as I do Republicans (people generally assume I'm the former). I fall along different lines depending on the topic, and my school of thoughts and opinions generally pleases no one.

So I can't talk to you about shopping. And I can't talk to you about politics, unless you're one few people who doesn't explode whenever confronted with an opposing viewpoint (it's because of these people that I often — once again — don't say anything at all, aside from the occasional wisecrack).

At least we can go out and drink together... right? Get wicked trashed, forget our differences and socialize the night away?

Eh. Only if we go someplace that serves calorie-free alcohol that doesn't taste like... alcohol. There aren't many beers I enjoy, and though I like stuff like Mike's Lemonade and Twisted Smirnoff Ice, few bars around here carry it (I've even had some bartenders laugh when I ordered it). If I request they make a mixed "sissy drink" so people will stop staring when I sip my water, they charge $5-8 for whatever they make and, even if it tastes good, I can't help but think I could've purchased six Smirnoffs for about that price at the store.

To further my embarrassment, I don't want to consume the empty calories it takes to get wasted. My metabolism simply couldn't handle it, and though I secretly wish more places carried Bacardi Razz — which has almost zero calories — I also know that wouldn't make a huge difference because, at $5 a bottle, I'd rather spend my money at the movies.

[I should interject here that I'm capable of enjoying myself at pubs — so long as they're not too noisy and not too crowded — but my amusement is typically intermingled with a level as discomfort when people begin noticing I've had the same drink all night. I'm fine until I have to start fielding related questions.]

And so, like diamonds, politics and shopping... even in the most relaxed of public situations, I somehow emerge as a loner, a bore or an all-out nut. I stand out not because I choose to, but because I simply can't relate. I imagine many folks see me as being socially awkward as a result. Or, to quote a co-worker: "Everyone likes you, but they also all think you're strange."

There's a fine line between "boring" and "strange." And while I generally consider myself to be a hapless bore, I also realize that people who walk the line between "boring" and "strange" are just a hop, skip and a jump away from being social outcasts.

[Just in case you wondered about this post's title.]

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I end up feeling like the odd one out sometimes as well..

At my last job I had a girl say to me:

"You're not anything like I thought you were going to be. I was afraid you were going to be stuck-up and bitchy, but you aren't, you're funny."

Because I do like to shop, have blonde hair, and somewhat care about silly things like purses and shoes, I'm often thought of as being "stuck-up". I've had people not like me before I open my mouth.

So just before you judge someone
oh their hobbies, give them a chance to use their witty one-liners and the occasional off-color joke..

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Exactly. Most of my good friends are avid shoppers, but it's always difficult to get "new" people to relate. It's amazing how well we can get along with people if we 1. Actually talk to them and 2. Don't try to force our viewpoints onto them.

You do need some common ground, though. Otherwise, what's the point?

michele said...

As poet! As usual, you have struck to the core. I too love new clothes but generally hate the process of acquiring them - it's the crowds in stores that I dislike, yet my oddly shaped body makes clothes shopping online difficult.

And the Smirnoff Ice? Try being a guy and ordering that! My SO gets some really strange looks and the occasional 'sissy' remark for ordering it instead of beer, but he likes it, so why shouldn't he be able to drink what he wants?

Some of the nicest friends I have are socially awkward. And I'm okay with that.

Anonymous said...

You are You. And that is all that matters. You are quirky and I, for one, like the quirks. Of course, I am quirky as well. I know it sounds like a cliche cop out, but you aren't some mindless sheep following the herd. You have the opinions you have because you thought about the things and have come to those conclusions. I know how hard it is to not drink when everyone else is. Beer is an acquired taste and you haven't. Diamonds are mostly ugly, the rest are really expensive. Shopping is something to be done quickly and gotten past. REI, book stores and art shops are places you can go and wish even if you don't buy. And we all have our own opinions and I shouldn't force mine on you or anyone or vice versa.

It isn't you. It is them. Mainly because you are are you and, in my opinion, people who are a them can't stand someone doing their own thing.

It has taken me entirely too long to accept me for who I am and not worry that I have the ability to clear a room or glaze some eyes just by going off on a tangent about economics or physics or history or something. I am me. Deal with it. You are you. They can deal with that, too.

OK, I'll put my soap box away now.
~BPP

XOXO said...

I'm curious why, in a world full of alcohol abusers, the person considered the outcast is the one who chooses not to drink. Not only that, but why do you have to have a reason not to drink. The only excuse I've heard people use regarding not drinking, that will make the questions stop, is when they have a previous alcohol offense and their probation won't allow it. Funny how that works and stating, "I just don't want to," doesn't.


I know how you loathe shopping. However, it needs to be said that you are SO much more fun to go with now, as opposed to when you would follow uncomfortably close until I couldn't stand it anymore so that we could leave. (oh the good ol' days)

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Yeah, I've definitely improved. But shopping still isn't exactly a walk in the park. I usually do it because I need, rather than want, new stuff.

I did voluntarily go to Urban Outfitters this weekend. And I even bought something. Though I was anxious throughout the whole process... my indeciveness plays a large role in me not liking to shop.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Excellent point, XO. Maybe I'll start using that one... perhaps it'll help keep people from associating my sparse drinking with quentessential lameness.