Wednesday, February 06, 2008

An Open Letter to Mother Nature

Dear Mum,

I have long supported you when others accused you of cruel indifference; I've even jumped to your defense when co-workers referred to you as "poor-mannered" and "unkind."

Truth is, for the most part I rather appreciate your work — thunderstorms, steady rains, and large snowflakes especially.

But I've noticed recently that you don't call up snow on the weekends or other sundry days off. Rather, we seem to only be getting snow and ice storms on weekdays (or late Sunday night, into early Monday morning), just before the morning commute, or during the return trip in the afternoon.

This is getting little short of ridiculous, particularly in an area that should be prepared for this sort of thing but seems nevertheless to be infested with idiot drivers and inadequate winter road maintenance.

So I beg of you, please, let's bring this insanity to an end. By all means, give us your snow — but please reconsider your hours so that your few remaining supporters might continue to have reason to stand in the defense of you and your Four Seasons.

Yours always,

The Third Worst Poet

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I guess it is a matter of perspective. I would rather deal with a commute like I had yesterday morning and have my weekends "weather free" than vice versa. Of course this might be due to the eight snow storms in eight weekends last winter.
~BPP

disgruntled world citizen said...

rain, that's what we've had. rain. and its cold, to boot. good get-sick weather it is.

M@ said...

I grew up in northeastern Vermont and I think your mother is a bitch.

Supafly Turbo Cyborg said...

Interesting considering this study:

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg15921464.000-rain-rain-go-away.html

I agree with m@, but I think she is more of a spiteful, vindictive whore. Go Bears.

Unacademic Advisor said...

As you well know, I share your affection for "Mum" and all of her wonders. But I would generally side more with BPP than with you on this issue. I'd rather have my free time less subject to the depressive phase of mother's bipolar disorder than my work time. And since I am traveling up to your midwestern metropolis next weekend, I really, really would prefer a manic phase weekend if possible. If that means your commute has to suffer... well... human beings are innately self-centered, aren't they?

Is there some sort of petition to Mum I can sign? Or can we get her some sort of medication or something?

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

BPP and Un Ad - But snow on the weekend just makes for good stomping/walking/snowshoeing. You're not in a hurry to get places, so you can take your time and not stress about the roads. Which compares to the weekday, where you're locked into a schedule.

DWC - Don't get sick!

M@ & STC - You're angry people.