Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Echo's Last Stand

For the past six years of my life, I have been paid either to write, or to teach writing. Sometimes both.

And though I think most times I'm a decent communicator — both in writing and in speech — the fact remains that there are some situations that no words can resolve.

You feel them there — swimming around your brain, and settling into a knot in your throat — before you choke them back, resigning them to their futility.

You have learned, you think. You know better.

Nothing can change what has happened, and nothing you say — or do — will help to sway your future.

And so the words just... slip away. You clench your jaw, and maybe your fists.

You drag your thumb along the knuckles and wonder just how many years remain before your hands cease to open and close so freely.

Time is — in fact — the enemy. And you have already wasted so much.

And yet, still, there you are:

Standing. And staring.

With nothing left to say.

And yet: everything.

10 comments:

Michael K said...

Go outside and play with a puppy dog.

Unacademic Advisor said...

Have you been reading my diary/mind? Creepy.

Franki said...

man, your writing only accentuates just how shallow i am. ;)

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Michael K - I find that walking up to strangers and asking if you can "pet their puppy" leads to very strange looks — especially if they don't have a dog with them.

Un Ad - I really need to practice occulemency more.

Franki - I disagree, though it's true I'm drowning in melodrama over here.

disgruntled world citizen said...

Sounds like your muse has been beaten

david said...

It think it is time to change your listing for Your Best Blog Ever. I couldn't raise an argument about choosing any of the last three.

M@ said...

For that reason, I will go the gym tomorrow and try to lift as much weight as possibly I can.

Someday, I will not.

Pamela said...

inside I feel the same....

Anonymous said...

The words don't go away. They build up behind a dam in your mind. And after enough time and enough words, the dam breaks and it all comes out. One way or another. IMHO, it is better to just say the words and deal with the consequences now. If not, you end up looking back at a relationship saying "How did I get here?"
~BPP
P.S. May = L in the house. Definitely not the five months living with K.

ds said...

you should know this guy - 'accept loss forever." it helps a little.