Trafficking

By far, my commute home from work is generally the worst part of my day. And my commute to work is usually the second worst part. There are, at times, horrible exceptions to this. But this is almost always the case.

As a result, I generally arrive to work irritated, and I return home angry. What happens in-between fluctuates day-to-day, but has been especially chaotic the past 2-3 months.

But back to the issue at hand: trafficking. The ordeal that bookends my day, raises my blood pressure and generally robs me of any remaining shred of faith I might hope to harbor for the human race.

A city-to-suburb commute is generally an awful experience. And I'd strongly urge all of you to never regularly engage in such a dehumanizing ritual.

Think I'm exaggerating? Maybe I am. Below I'm recounting actual encounters from the last 24 hours. Tell me what you think.

To Work

• A woman attempts to cross at a crosswalk where she has the right-a-way. A man in a truck waiting to turn left determines man law trumps traffic signs and proceeds to honk at her. She begins to run. He flips her off and squeals his tires the moment he has enough room to get by.
• A cabbie decided to park in a lane that doubled as the right lane of traffic. I was in this lane. I see the cab in enough time, I think, to signal and get into the left lane. The car some four car-lengths behind me in the left lane sees my signal, speeds up, and prevents me from getting over.
• One lane on a major city street is closed down for sidewalk construction during the mourning [SIC] rush hour. I wait quietly while some honked and gestured, as though that would get us anywhere faster. It took us 15 minutes to travel three city blocks.
• A big part of this delay, for the record, is that cars in the right lane waited until the last minute to get over — despite repeated warnings that the lane was going to end
• Just before the expressway exit, while still on a city road, I'm stopped at a traffic light in a lane that is both for those going straight, and those turning right. I'm going straight. The man behind me wants to turn, and so honks his horn for me to go. Mind you, the light was red.
  
• I'm in the right lane just before the exit to get onto the ExpressWay. The lane to the left of me is NOT an exit lane — it's for those continuing straight on the city street. During mourning [SIC] rush hour, that lane moves considerably faster than the one I'm in. And yet cars in the left lane will speed ahead of the line, and then cut in front of others who had patiently waited in the right lane. This happens daily. Today was no exception.
• Much closer to work, I wait five cars behind in the right-turn lane for those folks in the left-turn lane in the opposite direction to no longer have the green "turn" arrow. My light turns green, which means theirs is red, and yet people continue to turn left as though traffic had suddenly become a game of follow the leader. This continued long enough that I did not get to turn on the first green light.
• Between the time I left for work, and the time I arrived, 65 minutes had passed (in all fairness, the construction really put me back — generally the mourning [SIC] commute is closer to 50 minutes]. If you're keeping score, I live 20 miles from where I work. I averaged, then, about 18.5 miles per hour.
  

In-Between
An exception to the 24-hour rule, as this happened Saturday but is nevertheless vital to understanding my daily frustrations with traffic mentality.

As I entered a parking lot, a man's car stalled in front of me. I stopped and waited. He started his car again, continued forward, and it died again. He motioned for a woman to go ahead (she was exiting from the direction opposite him). She motioned for him to go ahead. He was visibly frustrated and motioned again, then pointed to his car. Just when she finally caught on, a guy in a white Jetta behind me honked for me to go. Mind you, with this oblivious woman in one lane and the stalled man perpendicular in front of me, I couldn't go. And because I felt badly for the guy in the shoddy car, I wasn't about the honk at him. My stomach burned with an immediate distaste for some anonymous guy in a white Jetta. The guy in the stranded car looked at me — probably thinking I was the one who honked. I looked back and sort of waved to try and let him know I hadn't. His car started, and he sputtered out.

From Work

• They started work on the ExpressWay yesterday, and reduced three lanes to two. They don't say how long it's expected to last, but for the two miles prior to the construction, I was moving at about 5-10 mph. Luckily, traffic picked up considerably after the third lane opened up.
• During this insufferable jam, I became obsessed with a hideous mural on a bus: the caricature of a train conducter, with his big cartoonish face smiling at me from the backside. He looked like a demon-possessed nutcracker that may very well come to haunt my dreams.
• City side streets that are two way are often very crowded with parked cars. When someone approaches from the opposite direction, both generally slow down and pull in closer to the parked cars. Occasionally, someone decides to not obey that etiquette, and you're at risk for a reasonable side-swipe. Yesterday I had a close call.
• It's also generally accepted that, when you park in the city, you check your side mirror and peer over your shoulder before you exit the car (I sometimes sit in my car for a considerable period, just waiting for the opportunity to exit). Some people don't get this and, shortly after the aforementioned, a chick in a parked car decided to open her car door WITHOUT checking. She did this just as I approached her. Luckily, no one was coming in the opposite direction, and I was able to swerve to miss her.
• This city is replete with roundabout intersections. These are tricky when turning left because, legally, you are supposed to go AROUND the roundabout to turn and NOT cut in front of it. I obey this rule, but I'm starting to realize that most don't. Not to mention, most are so ignorant of this that they'll even cut me off as I go around it to turn left. Yesterday as I searched for parking, I was cut off twice.
• Parking in my neighborhood sometimes means either parking three blocks away [three blocks away of the direction I need to go in the morning OR three blocks in unsafe territory], or driving for 5-15 minutes until a space opens up. Sometimes I get lucky and find something on the first shot. But often, as with yesterday, I'll turn around in an alley when I see something open up, only to have someone "beat me to it."
• Remember, this commute is 20 miles. And yet my return trip, including the search for parking, took 85 minutes (or 14 miles per hour). That's about average, though sometimes the trip takes considerably longer.

Once Home
Once I find parking and go inside, I try my darndest to not leave again — not in my car, anyway. It's more difficult to find a non-meter spot as the night wears on and, even though parking on the main thoroughways becomes free after 9 p.m., you have to move your vehicle by 6 a.m. when they (claim to) "clean the streets." This lesson cost me $50.

"R & R"
Generally when I return home from work, I spend a few minutes catching up on blogger while tending to an attention-deprived cat. If I didn't workout in the morning (which seldom happens these days), I do so after work. This helps work out any aggression, but at times my efforts are halted by other "obstacles," shall we say.

Yesterday's obstacle: after coming into my apartment three times in the last week and a half (once without asking permission), my landlord had sent someone again to address (and re-address) the same two issues: a broken lock on my back door, and a window that was broken when I moved in. When I returned home yesterday, I was met with the following:

• My front door was unlocked
• Assuming someone was there, I called out. No one answered.
• I noticed the blinds were askew in every room, which meant they'd been searching for the broken window (I told them exactly where it was)
• I proceeded to the living room, where the cracked window was, and noticed it wasn't fixed. Not expecting, then, for there to be glass on my floor, I moved in to pick up a piece of broken wood.
• I then stepped, barefoot, in glass.
• Maude approached me. I shouted for her to get back, realizing then that there'd been broken glass on my floor for possibly 2-3 hours. She'd been loose the entire time, and I started to panic that she may have walked in it as well.
• I locked her in my bedroom and proceeded to clean up the mess while on my (now sandaled) tip toes.
• Why my tip toes? — Because I had glass in my right foot. That's why.
• After sweeping up the bigger pieces, and then running a damp cloth to try and pick up the smaller specks, I let Maude back out and proceeded to the bathroom, where it took me 30 minutes to extract a very small piece of glass from my foot. I actually wish it'd been bigger — would've been much easier to remove. In actuality, I'm not sure I got all of it out — I heard a crunch and assume I broke a majority of it.
  
• I grabbed Maude, who kept licking her paws, and inspected the pads on her feet. She didn't cry when I touched any of them, so I assume (hope) she's all right.

In Sum
This final blurb may have nothing to do with honked horns and middle fingers... but it is a manner of soul trafficking. It's that proverbial "cap" to an experience that leaves an altogether nasty taste in one's mouth. Sometimes after a terrible commute, you just want to come home and relax. But then, sometimes, the city (the parking regulations, the tickets, the crowded streets, the dirty sidewalks, the traffic, the me-first mentality, the living standards, the anonymous landlords) has determined otherwise.

For the record, in the past 24 hours I didn't honk my horn. I didn't gesture or yell. I don't do these things. And even when I called the landlord to request that they just leave the window taped up, I like to think I wasn't mean about it. And later last night, I was gripped with the fear that something horrible had happened to the maintenance guy.

But somewhere, between the traffic yesterday, my experience last night, today's mourning [SIC] commute — and then writing about all of the above — my frustration has transformed into a sort of... embarrassing sadness.

Is writing catharsis, or does it propel us further into a melodramatic, self-righteous abyss?

I confront these questions, and then disregard them, returning to work. Hoping that somehow, somewhere, my doppelganger is smiling.

That makes one of us.