Introducing What's-Her-Name

She purrs like a motor boat and wiggles her bottom before attacking. She's eight weeks old, and terrified of loud sounds. She's ... !!

Still unnamed.

I can't help it. I'm starting to understand the pressure Adam & Eve felt, having been given the responsibility of naming things.

And so, for those of you who joke about how indecisive I can be: you're right.

[Though, just for the record, I'm only selectively indecisive. Sometimes I know exactly what I want... believe it or not.]

When you consider how long cats can live, I don't want to mess this up. And, of the 75 or so names I've put on "the list," there's a problem with every one of them.

Prudence - As in "Won't you come out and play..." Name only works if the cat is terribly shy/hesitant. This cat is shy at times, but I think she'll outgrow that after she recovers from the moving trauma (four homes in 10 days).

Kerouac - As in On the Road. She's traveled 300 miles from conception to her current home with me. She's better traveled than most cats, but "Kerouac" breaks the two-syllable rule (not to mention, my sister said it sounds too much like "ear wax")

Maude - So-named for one of my favorite movie characters... the spunky old woman in Harold and Maude. No one seems to get it. Also breaks the two-syllable rule.

Desdemona - Gets killed by Othello. Too fatalistic.

Bukowski - Breaks two-syllable rule. Bukowski was a good poet, but a dirty old man. Not a very good name for a little girl.

Echo - Still in the running, though the story of she and Narcissus is one of the the saddest Greek myths (which also means it's one of my favorites).

Walden - A la Thoreau and "Walden Pond"... Lint tells me I can't use this, since we know someone by that name. And Thoreau is out, since my cat doesn't hoe beans.

Pandora - Still in the running, though it does break the two-syllable rule. Could call her "Dora," but that's a co-worker's nickname.

Buckwheat - This possibility occurred to Washington and I simultaneously when my brother mentioned he recently learned how to cook "buckwheat" pancakes. I'm quite fond of the name, though I worry it's somehow racist for a white girl to name her black cat "Buckwheat" (considering how modern society interprets the 40's sitcom, The Little Rascals anyway).

Chaplin - Cause she has black fur with a white undercoat, and her attitude reminds me a little of the tramp (sweet but playful; easily scared; a wee bit ornery; only talks when the cameras aren't on; etc.). Still in the running, though no one else seems to like it.

Wordsworth - I like the way this name sounds, but despite countless attempts, I've been unable to get her to write any poetry.

Anais - Sounds too much like "Anus"

Buddha - Cause I think it'd be funny to rub her belly for luck. Again, no one likes this but me.

Zephyr - Does the west wind blow from the west, or blow to the west? Cause she's coming from the east, and keeps traveling west. I can only use the name if Zephyr heads in the same direction.

Gatsby - Hard for me to imagine a female with this name, since "Gatsby" was known by his last name. She does have green eyes, at least, (a la the green light at the end of the dock), but the "Catsby" play on the name would be as annoying as it is cute.

Imagine that sort of rationale a few more dozen names down the line, and you get a pretty good idea of how tortured I am by this.