Friday, June 01, 2007

Transporter (Movie Review)

I watched Transporter (2002) more than two weeks ago, and I've been in anything but a rush to review it.

[Not that I've had the time, but you get the idea.]

Add to that I really don't want to waste too much more of my life on this writing nightmare, and you can rest assured I'll be keeping this short.

This isn't a good film. Though I'll admit to enjoying the action sequences (which are pretty to look at), the plot was full of bad aim & bullet holes. Not to mention, directors Louis Leterrier and Corey Yuen were clearing indulging in various fetishes and fantasies, with pretty girl Qi Shu having her mouth taped shut intermittently for the first 40 minutes of the film.

The man who plays her father looks like the caricature of an Asian villain, with a toupee sloppily placed and skin that wreaks of bad plastic surgery.

Must admit, though, that I did like Jason Stratham (the film's lead) well enough — he did OK with what he had to work with. Suffice it to say this is the sort of film that — in terms of dialog, and plot — is always 10 steps behind its audience.

I caught parts of Air Force One (1997) on television the day after I watched Transporter, and let me just say I didn't realize how truly bad the latter was until I had the former to compare it to.

Air Force One requires some suspension of disbelief, sure, but it also doesn't have all of these terrible lulls in-between action sequences. In short: Air Force One maintains a level of suspense without sacrificing the quality of writing. Transporter, by comparison, has a couple cool fight scenes but is otherwise separated by action movie cliches.


FINAL GRADE: D

5 comments:

Stacy said...

I refuse to watch movies which portray women as helpless victims of assault and rape, unless it is an admitted horror flick(like silence of the lambs). I'm going to pass this one up, thanks for the warning.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Well, the woman isn't sexually assaulted, actually. But from the way she's treated by men -- and the sort of pseudo "tension" it creates -- makes it clear one or both of the directors is into bondage.

Not that that's wrong, per se. But it was rather pathetic the way they integrated said fetish into a "mainstream" film.

disgruntled world citizen said...

You know, you coulda stopped at "this isn't a good film." that'd sum it up, nicely.

James Burnett said...

I don't know if I've ever liked anything Stratham has been in. But I love his energy. His action sequences and their choreography are always cool.

And Air Force One lost me in the opening minutes. I did, however, like the presidential escape pod. Too bad they don't really have something like that on AF1. You'd think it would be standard issue.

Thomas Watson said...


Jason Statham is awesome! Fast 7 was much better because he was in the film.