Mov-E

Wall-E
The best animation I've seen since the Triplets of Belleville, and my favorite love story since Harold and Maude. It's cute, it's funny, it's endearing... and much to my surprise, it also makes a very poignant statement on consumerism and conspicuous consumption. It's set in a future where humans have evacuated earth and robots have been left to clean up their mess -- but the mission fails and humans orbit the solar system indefinitely while one lone robot, WALL-E, continues about the task on his lonesome. But the monotony of his otherwise charming existence changes when he falls in love with another robot, sent back to earth in search of life. I dare you to watch this movie and not smile. FINAL GRADE: A

Summercamp!
I love documentaries like this. Like King of Kong, it sounds silly — a camera crew follows around a group of kids and counselors at a summer camp in Wisconsin — but emerges as an interesting sociological study that positions children at its epicenter. Here you see 12-year-old boys crying for their mother; girls lamenting (and rather truthfully) how immature all of the boys are; kids battling the traumas of their home life; and the token "fat kid" being made fun of by others... pushed to the point of himself becoming a bully. Forget Meat Balls. This is a true summer camp movie. FINAL GRADE: A-

Pieces of April
Why more people haven't seen this 2003 film is beyond me. I mean, I was interested once I read the plot, and somewhat disinterested after I realized it starred Katie Holmes. But, well... I was pleasantly surprised. It's a fairly smart Indie film about a young 20-something screwup (played by Holmes) who's been all but disowned by her mother (dying of cancer) and her younger sister. Her father and brother cling to hope as they drive to New York City for Thanksgiving dinner, which the wayward eldest is hosting (along with her new boyfriend) for the first time. A very real movie with believable characters, some of whom you'll actually care about. FINAL GRADE: B+

Rushmore
I originally watched this Wes Anderson film shortly after its '98 release. I hated it. After rediscovering Anderson a couple years later, I decided to rewatch Rushmore, thinking perhaps my mood had impacted my impression. And I suppose it did, in a way... I didn't despise it anywhere near as much this time around, and in fact almost liked it. It's about a 15-year-old boy who gets into a prestigious academy on a writing scholarship, despite being an otherwise awful student (with little to no family income). He's quirky, neuorotic, and even a bit psychotic — particularly when he falls in love with a 1st grade teacher. FINAL GRADE: B-

27 Dresses
Romantic comedies generally aren't my thing — unless there's a very dark twist. I was hoping this would be an exception, as initial glowing reviews led me to believe this was more so a comedy than it was a romance. I mean: a woman is a bridesmaid in 27 weddings and thinks nothing of it — until her crush of several years proposes to her younger sister. Funny in some parts such that I could definitely relate... but it also relied a bit too heavily on the standard love story formula. In other words: you can accurately call the ending about 20 minutes into the film. This predictability doesn't altogether ruin the experience of watching 27 Dresses (it's still fun), but it certainly caused the film to lose a few street-cred points. FINAL GRADE: B-

Charlie Bartlett
Not as good as I'd hoped when I first saw previews, but better than the bleak reviews offered by the majority of critics. This one is about a wealthy teenage boy who just wants to be popular — and who'll do anything to make that happen (even if that means getting kicked out of countless private institutions before his mother resorts to public school). An indie-comedy with a slightly dark twist, it doesn't live up to its potential... but nor does it fail entirely. FINAL GRADE: C+

Kentucky Fried Movie
When it comes to a collection of sketch comedy, I'll take Monty Python and the Flying Circus over Kentucky Fried Movie, any day. Certainly funny and clever in some parts, Kentucky Fried Movie also relies too heavily on the shock value of exposed female body parts. Perhaps I'd have enjoyed it more if I hadn't watched it alone (hearing other people laugh can sometimes make or break a movie)... or with some chemical assistance. FINAL GRADE: C

Love in the Time of Cholera (Movie Review)

I've never watched the film based on a book so soon after reading the book itself — I did it intentionally this time around, as I figured that meant I'd be better able to retain the book rather than have the film tarnish my memory.

And while I didn't think this 2007 adaptation was awful — as countless critics have suggested — I agree with the majority that this book may very well be unfilmable. But unlike those Marquez sycophants out there, I empathize a bit more with the director in his plight: he actually did an OK job capturing the highlights of the plot, but in order to do that you have to drop all of the fluff in-between, and it's that fluff that actually contains the spark of Marquez's work. Without it, you're left with a Cliff Notes type of film — the basic elements devoid of any real spirit.

What you're left with in the film, then, are all of those things that almost made the book a disaster for me: unrealistic characters and scenes that border on comical (and are most likely even intended in jest) but just don't fit in with the characters — or even the overall tone of the work.

I also resented the director's main breach from the novel (really the only one worth noting, since it is otherwise true to the action): he's made this into a love story, and all but forgotten the irony of said "love." And it was this irony that made the book for me.

Or perhaps that's just me... I didn't read Love in the Time of Cholera as a love story that took place during an era whereby cholera was ravaging the planet; rather, I walked away thinking it was a story about life, whereby love (in all its forms) is as dangerous a threat as the plague itself.

Oh, wait, there's one more thing: Javier Bardem does a sufficient job as Florentino Ariza, with one big problem: Bardem is, by his very nature, masculine, whereas Florentino is described in effeminate terms.... smaller in stature, pristine, etc. (hence all of the rumors questioning his sexuality). So while Bardem did an OK job acting the part, he didn't all resemble it.

FINAL GRADE: C-

Eight is Enough

King of Kong
Now this is why documentaries exist: to pit good against evil in the pursuit of the much-coveted title, "King of Donkey Kong." Here two men stand off to outscore one another in one of the earliest arcade games: one as the reigning world champion with a score purported to be "unbreakable" (this guy is a real-life version of Ben Stiller's character in Dodge Ball), and the mild-mannered father of two who claims to have broken the record — and has a tape to prove it. But don't let the subject material bore you: the filmmakers sure don't, the end result being a documentary that's as humorous as it is insightful. FINAL GRADE: A

In the Company of Men
When a friend recommended this film to me by stating that it will, "really improve your opinion of the male persuasion," I assumed he meant that in jest. And having just watched it, I now know that for certain. Or if this gives you any idea: this film is rated "R" for language and EMOTIONAL ABUSE. I've never heard a film getting an "R" rating for emotional abuse, but, well.. it was certainly warranted. Not to mention, it shows a smooth-talking man (a real sweetheart to the ladies) as he is beneath the surface. A truly disturbing but nevertheless well-orchestrated film that aptly demonstrates just what men are capable of — and so pushed me one big step closer to voluntary spinsterhood. FINAL GRADE: A-

Incredible Hulk
If you want pure entertainment without having to think too much, Incredible Hulk really isn't too bad. Sure, a couple hokey lines really cracked me up for all of the wrong reasons ("HULK.... SMASH!!!") but I was otherwise entertained. I also thought they were so busy setting up a sequel at the end of this film, that they failed to aptly conclude this one. But then again, I wasn't really expecting too much and I wasn't disappointed. I also appreciate the homage-by-way-of-cameos to the original television series, which I vaguely recall from my days as a toddler. FINAL GRADE: B

Julien Donkey-Boy
Oh, I dunno. This film is purportedly about a schizophrenic teenage boy, with a series of grainy, shaky vignettes capturing the world as he sees it. But I'd say this is more so about a highly dysfunctional family than anything else (the father is abusive; the brother is obsessed with becoming a wrestling champion; and the sister is thrilled about a mysterious pregnancy). And for that matter, I'm not sure the boy (Julien) is so much schizophrenic (or at least, not only schizophrenic) as he is inflicted by other personality and/or learning disorders. This film certainly has its moments, with a Blue Velvet-esque creepiness that certainly got my attention. But it also tries a bit too hard to achieve an objective that remains nevertheless unclear. FINAL GRADE: C+

Ratatouille
I queued this one up because my 6-year-old nephew was going to be visiting, and I wanted to make sure I had at least one genuine kids film in my apartment. But we wound up spending most of our time at museums and the like, only briefly watching parts of a film — in which case, he chose Harry Potter (atta boy!). But I tried watching Ratatouille — a computer animated film about a French street rat who has aspirations of becoming a chef — on my lonesome after he left and, well... let's just say it's interesting to look at but is otherwise pretty dern dull and most definitely a kid's film (unlike crossover films — like Shrek — that could equally entertain an adult audience) — never mind a couple double entendres and occasional fits of drunkenness. FINAL GRADE: N/A

Night at the Museum
Not as good as I'd hoped, but better than expected (particularly after hearing a series of very harsh reviews). It's about the Museum of Natural History and the tablet that brings all of the exhibits to life at night — and not to mention, the night watchman who's new to the shift. But the fact remains that this film had all of the ingredients for a great family film — and while it is certainly still the latter, it certainly falls short of its potential. FINAL GRADE: C+

Semi-Pro
It pains me to have thought so little of this film — most definitely not Will Ferrell's finest. Here he stars as Jackie Moon, one-hit-wonder turned basketball player/owner/coach. Though occasionally funny, I spent most of my time staring blankly at the screen, longing for entertainment. FINAL GRADE: C

Mama's Boy
This one stars Jon Heder — of Napoleon Dynamite fame — as the boy who refuses to grow up and leave home, in large part because of the trauma induced by his father's untimely death. Marketed as a dark comedy, it was rare that I found this film funny, more often irritated by Heder's character (he's cranky and curmudgeonly to all who cross his path). FINAL GRADE: C-

More Movie Matters

Keeping Mum
Add a murderous twist (and good writing) to Nanny McPhee or Mrs. Doubtfire, and you have Keeping Mum — a black British comedy that had me chuckling from beginning to end. It stars Maggie Smith... that's Professor McGonagall to my fellow Harry Potter fans — as a sweet elderly woman with a dark past who'll stop at nothing to ensure the happiness of the family she works for. FINAL GRADE: B+

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
I was more amused by this than most people I've talked to — but I'm also only a casual Indiana Jones fan who sought out the film to stay on top of my 6-year-old nephew's interests (for the record: I would NOT recommend taking a 6-year-old to see this, for one scene in particular). I've heard some say it's too campy (but wasn't it supposed to be, I ask); others, that it wasn't campy enough (which I can kind of see — at some points I worried the film wanted me to take it seriously... and I may have given it too much benefit of the doubt). But, whatever, it made me chuckle with all of its horrible hokeyness. FINAL GRADE: B-

Meatballs
Yeah, I know. This Bill Murray classic was made before I was born, so why do I care to watch it now? Because it's a Billy Murray classic. He stars as Tripper Harrison, the silly-but-loveable head counselor of a co-ed summer camp who challenges authority even when he doesn't need to, and shows a softer side in relating to teenage boy bullied by his cabin mates. And for the most part, I was entertained. But I was also immensely disturbed by one quasi-rape scene that was meant to be taken comically and yet changed my perception of the film altogether. So you can relate to teenage boys, and even if you really care about a girl it's still OK to threaten her physically so long as YOU know you're not going to do anything? That's just not funny. But, whatever, the rest of the film was OK. FINAL GRADE: C+

Storytelling
I rented this thinking I'd seen every other Todd Solondz film but this one — and then quickly realized that I'd seen this one before, too. Per the norm, it's disturbing and yet... real... and also quite possibly not very memorable, when you consider I only remembered the actions just seconds before they occurred (not to mention, I didn't really care about any of the characters). I like the idea of it though, with the movie split into two parts: "Fiction" (where a girl recaptures a horrific, personal experience in writing but can't get anyone to believe her) and "Nonfiction," where a hopeful documentarian edits his subject material to suit his personal aspirations. FINAL GRADE: C+

Creep Fest: Movies of Brilliant Discomfort

There Will Be Blood
If this film has anything in common with P.T. Anderson's previous work (Magnolia, Punch Drunk Love), it's the creepiness factor — and I mean that in the best possible way. Based on Upton Sinclair's Oil, this film adaptation follows an oil tycoon in a small, western God-fearing town. Explores concepts of greed, religion, family and... errr... mental illness. Well-deserving of the critical acclaim it received. FINAL GRADE: A-

Lolita
If anyone could adapt Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita for film and remain true to its spirit, it's Stanley Kubrick. He hardly breaches from the story at all, in fact, managing somehow to truly capture the loving hypocrisy of Humbert Humbert and the vixen-like attributes of his otherwise naive child-love, Lolita. It's funny and discomforting, just like that novel — which remains one of my favorites, despite the taboo subject material. FINAL GRADE: A-

Palindromes
If you've ever seen a Todd Solondz film (Happiness), then you know what to expect from this one: prepare to writhe in your seat with discomfort, all the while unable to pry yourself from the television screen. Solondz has once again managed to add a slather of comedy to some of humanity's darker life moments, exploring the life-cycle of a young girl, Aviva, in her quest to become a mother (along with the boys and men who take advantage of her maternal desire). In this "sort-of-sequel" to his Welcome to the Dollhouse (a personal favorite of mine), multiple actresses portray Aviva, thus demonstrating the universality (and the multi-faceted nature) of the character herself. FINAL GRADE: B+

The Talented Mr. Ripley
I was pleasantly surprised by this thriller, having previously had no desire to see it. Matt Damon stars as the title character, a lower middle class pianist/bathroom attendant who's sent to Italy to retrieve the ex patriot son of a wealthy ship builder. Here a different side of Ripley emerges, himself a master of deception (mimicking voices, forging signatures, lying, etc.). As he interacts with the upper classes it becomes increasingly clear that he doesn't fit in unless he pretends to be someone else — and so he does, creating a sympathetic devil who simultaneously loves and hates the people that cross his path. An interesting approach to class differences and multi-dimensional character, in The Talented Mr. Ripley you at once like Damon's character as much as you despise him — just as you sympathize with his otherwise ego-maniacal victims just before their collapse (with one exception... but I'm not about to give it away). FINAL GRADE: B+

Just Some Other Manic Movies

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
What a wonderfully depressing movie. Based on the story of Jean-Dominique Bauby, a famous French journalist and former editor of Elle magazine, this film is derived from Bauby's own novel — which he wrote after suffering a "cardiovascular accident" that left him with "locked-in syndrome." That is to say, he was entirely paralyzed and unable to communicate by any means other than blinking his left eyelid. While in this state, Baubly reflects on his life (he was a bit of a philandering jerk); his mistakes (he was good with his children when he saw them, but seldom did); and his regrets. You can sense his agony with this film, not only for his inability to speak his thoughts and rise from his bed, but also the emotional turmoil that haunts he and his family. FINAL GRADE: A-

Prince Caspian
Based on the second-published (fourth installment if read chronologically) novel from The Chronicles of Narnia, I found this film adaptation to be a deserving follow-up to the first. There's never a boring moment in this almost three-hour film, which marks the return of the Pevensie children to the mythical land of Narnia, some 1,300 years after their reign (though only a year has passed in the "real" world). They were summoned by Prince Caspian, the rightful heir to the throne after he's driven from his kingdom (and into Narnia) by his despotic uncle. But as C.S. Lewis intended these books to be for children (though they're also favorited by adults the world over), some elements — especially as conveyed by filmmakers — test the boundaries of the suspension of disbelief. That is to say: there were definitely some moments where I felt inclined to roll my eyes, but I was otherwise amused, intrigued and entertained. FINAL GRADE: B+

Death at a Funeral
The first 25 minutes of this British comedy were hilarious: one of the most consistently, subtly humorous starts of a film in recent memory, in fact. But at one point the humor slows and things don't so much grow stale as they almost grow too serious for the film's own good. But that's the beauty of the film, as a whole: forcing the audience to laugh precisely when it knows it shouldn't. In short: the entire film centers around the funeral (go figure) of a wealthy businessman; his family (two sons, a wife and the goings-on his nieces and nephews); and the gay lover who changes everything. FINAL GRADE: B+

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
This film was pitched as a parody of the rise, decline and fall of your typical pop star... and yet it makes no apologies for pretty much satirizing the life of Johnny Cash and parodying Walk the Line to a T. As a fan of the late Mr. Cash, this disturbed me a bit. And yet: I still found the film to be goofily funny, with John C. Reily creating a character that is loveable and minutely comedic even when at his worst. And, well, let's be honest: Johnny Cash's story did pretty much set the mold for future musicians to follow.: the infidelity; the drugs; the alcohol; the stints in prison; etc. In all, this film will make you laugh... and even though "smart" in some ways, you'll also never be able to shake off the feeling that it's horribly silly and a bit irreverent. FINAL GRADE: B-

A Tale of Six Movies

In order of preference...

The Savages
A very dark comedy that touches on a delicate family moment: the diagnosis of an estranged parent with "dementia" as he spirals towards inevitable death. A brother and sister work together to cope with the situation, never getting melodramatic — sometimes warranting laughs — and yet always making me a wee bit uncomfortable in my seat. But it's the sort of discomfort I appreciate: recognition that life is not forever, and "carpe diem" is, sadly, just something people say. FINAL GRADE: A-

Baby Mama
Easily one of the best "clean" comedies of recent memory, with clever, subtle humor throughout that kept the material from ever going stale. A truly enjoyable viewing experience about a 30-something career woman (Tina Fey) who hires a white trash surrogate (Amy Phoeler) to carry her embryo. FINAL GRADE: A-

Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Without question, this was the first time in a great while that I've enjoyed a Judd Apatow-produced film without the slightest tinge of inner conflict. With Sarah Marshall — a film about a man recovering from the devastation brought upon by the end of a 5-year relationship with a television actress — he's at long last put his checkbook behind a comedy that doesn't intersperse hearty laughs with chauvinist undertones. Plus, there are boy parts! Ow-owww! FINAL GRADE: A-


Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
Yeah, I know. You're disappointed in me for parting with the $9.25 it cost to see this one. But for whatever it's worth, this second Harold and Kumar "stoner" film was precisely what I figured it'd be: really funny in some parts, and way overboard (as in "oh-my-god-why-did-they-have-to-include-this") in others. But, hey, I'm not the targeted demographic and I was still chuckling the next day when I'd recall particular scenes and different lines. And, yes, Kumar, donuts are awesome. FINAL GRADE: B

Iron Man
I told a friend I saw this. His response: "So does that mean you're dating again?"

So aside from the fact that teenage boys and adolescent men are the targeted demographic for superhero films, this one really isn't half bad. Certainly better than most others I've seen, barring the darker, more recent Batman films. There's psychology behind the action, and Robert Downey Jr. was perfectly cast for the part. FINAL GRADE: B

Super Troopers
Maybe it's because I watched the majority of this alone, and while doing chores. Or maybe it's because my sense of humor had hit a bit of a valley before I popped this into the DVD player. Whatever it was... I didn't find this to be anywhere near as funny as I was expecting. It wasn't bad, per se, and the writing was actually decent for a slapstick, toilet-n-drug comedy. But it was just wasn't doing it for me. Perhaps I'll have to try again some other time; suspect it could be a bit like Austin Powers for me, which I despised on my first viewing... before going on to watch it a dozen times in a single year. FINAL GRADE: Pending

Charlie Wilson's War
Oh, I dunno. This is an interesting "based on a true story" story regarding covert U.S. involvement in the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan in the 1970s, and the U.S. congressman who made it all happen. But I really struggled with Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts in the lead roles. Not that they were awful, but that they just weren't... compelling. FINAL GRADE: C+

March of the Penguins

Being about the only person on the planet to have not yet seen this 2005 documentary, there's probably not much reason for me to explain it catalogs a year in the life of Antarctica's Emperor penguin.

It's among the better "animal" documentaries I've ever seen, perhaps even preferable to Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill. This touching film focuses primarily on the mating habits of these flightless birds, as well as the resultant familial behaviors.

And it is just as the filmmakers profess it to be: a love story, first and foremost. And a well-told one, at that.

Definitely something I'd like to add to my permanent collection.

FINAL GRADE: A-

So I've Not Much Felt Like Writing...

Bottle Rockets
Bottle Rockets is an early dark comedy from director Wes Anderson, replete with his usual quirkiness but lacking the sort of artistry of some of his later (and more recent) work. It stars some of the usual suspects, including the Wilson brothers (Luke and Owen) as two of three best friends who try to break free from small town malaise by forging connections with the local godfather (and so embark on a sadly shortsighted — and so comical — ) life of crime. FINAL GRADE: B

Breakfast Club
I watched this film years ago but thought it (along with a few other John Hughes productions) was worth rewatching now that I'm fairly familiar with where most of his films were shot (north suburban Chicago). But since 98% of this film takes place inside of a school (with a group of stock character kids all serving a very unrealistic 8-hour detention together), I didn't get to "point out" anywhere near as many sights as I did with, say, Ferris Bueller (a cinematic homage to this city, among other things). And while I certainly understand why this 1985 film is considered to be a "seminal" work, there's also no denying its unintentionally hokey qualities. But, hey, it speaks for an era — and there's something to be said for that. FINAL GRADE: C+

Clay Pigeons
A very dark comedy with elements of suspense, the moral of this story is obvious: don't lie; don't cheat with your best friend's wife; and don't be (or hang out with) a serial killer. Stars Joaquin Phoenix, Vince Vaughn and Jeananne Garofolo, all who put on an enjoyable performance in this 1998 film — a sort of underproduced predecessor to No Country for Old Men (2007). FINAL GRADE: B+

Sixteen Candles
So I thought I'd seen this other John Hughes classic previously, but was more than a little surprised to recognize only bits and pieces. In fact what I thought was Sixteen Candles was actually this. I prefer this "version" better. Not to mention, I found it to be slightly less hokey than the other aforementioned Hughes film. Also set in north suburban Chicago, this one shows a bit more of the sights and is about a girl who wakes up on her 16th birthday only to realize that everyone in her family has forgotten (those of you who know me know how easy it was to relate). Other typical teenage concerns unravel (and are reconciled) throughout the course of the day. FINAL GRADE: B

Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill
This 2005 documentary about a man who dedicates his life to caring for a flock of "wild" parrots in San Francisco is intriguing, to say the least. And even with his long hair; resistance to conventional means of work; and single boiler plate kitchen, I really wouldn't qualify him as "eccentric" (in fact he intelligently refutes that label). The manner in which he describes individual parrots — and the lens through which this film was shot — is truly touching, underscoring the personality of birds non-native (and so misunderstood) by the populous. FINAL GRADE: A-

Jesus Camp (Movie Review)

Reviewers of this 2006 documentary have termed it "unbiased" and "even-handed."

And as backwards and disconcerting as its subject may be — thereby not really needing editorializing — it was nevertheless quite clear to me that the makers of Jesus Camp wished not to show something "as it is" (as I feel documentaries should) but rather to prove a point (a film editorial or "filmitorial," as I've decided to call them).

Essentially, this film follows a handful of children before, during and after their stay at a right-wing Evangelical bible school where children speak in tongues and prepare to enlist in God's army (the minister at this camp makes it quite clear that she wishes to emulate the examples set by children in the Middle East, rallying for their cause and waving guns in God's name).

The end result being a rather disturbing film that catalogs the brainwashing of children by America's extreme right (admittedly nowhere near as extreme as the FLDS news from Texas). But these are good — albeit misguided — kids, the risk being that portraying Christianity in its extreme could result in a philosophical backlash against the religion as a whole.

But that may very well be why the filmmakers inserted commentary from a non-fundamentalist, everyday Christian radio show host who blasts the fundamentalists all the while making it clear that he, too, is a Christian. But these commentaries (interspersed throughout the film) served as blatant editorializing in my book, essentially solidifying the directors' mood towards their subject. Certainly, though, still nowhere near as in-your-face, "I'm right and you're wrong" documentary (if you can call it that) that we get with Michael Moore.

In part because the editorializing is mild by comparison — and in part because the subject is so dern interesting (not to mention, disturbing) — I'd say this film is well worth a viewing.

FINAL GRADE: B/B+

Finding Neverland (Movie Review)

It's rare that my mother and I agree on a movie, but we did on Finding Neverland (2004). It's charming, well-written and even — at times — a bit sad.

The film chronicles J.M. Barrie's composition of his theatrical magnum opus, Peter Pan, and it does so by capturing his childlike sensibilities without ignoring the political backdrop during which it was written (early 1900s).

In fact, Barrie's relationship with the Davies family was frequently called into question; in part because he was married but remained close with the Davies mother... in part because he spent so much time with the boys, which led to accusations of pederast (though all five boys, even in adulthood, denied any inappropriate conduct on Barrie's part).

As a film based on actual events, my only complaint is that Finding Neverland painted Barrie and the Davies children in perhaps too fond a light, given what happened to them all after Peter Pan (two of the Davies — including Peter himself — later went on to kill themselves, and a third died in WW I). But this film isn't about that, after all, and if it was... it wouldn't have been anywhere near as light, nor as touching.

Still, certainly worth a watch, particularly if you like films that make you smile all the while tugging a bit on your heartstrings.

And if that doesn't work for you: Johnny Depp does a killer Scottish accent.

FINAL GRADE: B+

In Bruges (Movie Review)

More "dark" than it is "comedy" — and yet still surprisingly humorous in parts — In Bruges (2008) is about two hitmen awaiting their next assignment (following a serious mistake with their previous job) in the quiet fairytale town of Bruges (that's in Belgium, for those beauty queens out there).

What struck me as being most interesting about this film — along with the humor, in spite of the sometimes gruesome bloodshed — is just how thoughtful it is. These hitmen have "principles" — ironic as that may seem — and in living by their principles they become caught in a seemingly endless cycle of senseless killing. And yet, it's not entirely endless.

Watch the film, and you'll see what I mean. A bit of a warning though: there's a lot of gore towards the end. But then again, this story is about hitmen....

FINAL GRADE: B

Dodgeball (Movie Review)

I watched a chunk of Dodgeball: a True Underdog Story (2004) a few years ago when it was first released on DVD, but only just recently had a chance to revisit it in all its ridiculous glory.

And it is, indeed, ridiculous.

Starring Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn as owners of competing gyms (the former a huge success; the latter on the verge of collapse). Vaughn's character has just 30 days to come up with $50,000 or else his gym will fall into the hands of his archenemy — the obnoxiously cocky jock played by Stiller.

Vaughn's cronies recommend they enter a national dodge ball tournament where the top prize is — you guessed it — $50,000, despite the fact that they've never played and don't really have much time to train.

From there, hilarity — yes, I said it... hilarity — ensues in what is actually a fairly clever screwball comedy. Not "genius," per se... but clever. And above all other things: a welcome distraction.

Which reminds me: I'm on a quest to find more decent comedies. Dark comedies are preferred, but I also enjoy straight up comedies that are well-written and appropriately produced... a la Dodgeball and Anchorman. Feel free to leave recommendations in the comments section — or befriend me on Netflix.

FINAL GRADE: B

The Jerk (Movie Review)

Navin R. Johnson: Why are you crying? And why are you wearing that old dress?
Marie: Because I just heard a song on the radio that reminded me of the way we were.
Navin R. Johnson: What was it?
Marie: "The Way We Were."

---

Well now I understand why people always sounded so appalled when I confessed to never having seen this Steve Martin classic.

It's actually quite good, with Martin starring as the likable Navin Johnson, a "poor black boy" from the South who sets out to discover his roots (or his "special purpose," if you will) only to find himself in all variety of misadventures.

Navin is entirely naive, which seems to only add to his charm. The result is a breed of comedy that borders on terms generally viewed as opposites: it's screwball, in a way, and yet very much so "subtle."

I know that sounds contradictory, but The Jerk (1979) pulls it off (oy!) amazingly well. This is definitely a "must see" for anyone who appreciates smart comedy that maintains a reasonable degree of silliness.

FINAL GRADE: A-

Dan in Real Life (Movie Review)

Neither great nor awful, this film falls somewhere under the umbrella of "decent."

Dan in Real Life (2007) stars Steve Carrell as an advice columnist who happens to also be the widowed father of three girls. Dan's wife is four years deceased and though his daughters are moving on with their lives, Dan isn't — his parents and siblings have taken to criticizing Dan's lackluster love life, even going so far as to set him up on blind dates.

But when Dan and his daughters drive to Rhode Island to spend a few weeks with their extended family, he visits the local bookstore and meets the woman of his dreams. They talk, laugh, etc. and at the end of the conversation she reveals she's dating someone. Too late for Dan, though — he's smitten.

Cut back to the family cabin, where minutes later Dan is introduced to his playboy brother's new girlfriend, who naturally just happens to be the woman from the bookstore.

Dan is crestfallen, conflicted, and insanely jealous. Matters are further complicated when it is revealed his brother — who's had his fair share of women — is genuinely interested in a long-term relationship with this woman. To make matters worse, the whole family loves her.

But Dan is miserable, and though this misery allows for some of the film's comedy, I also found myself feeling uncommonly sorry for him, from his daughters' normal teenage resentment, to all of those questions from family forcing him to talk about issues he'd prefer to keep quiet.

And it's because of this duality — the comedy and the drama — that I had higher hopes for this film. I felt like something was missing — something that could've made and "OK" film "good" or even "great." Maybe it needed a little more edge, or to be a little less predictable and formulaic.

Whatever was missing for me is also probably the same thing that makes this safe for just about anyone to watch and find it moderately entertaining — and unoffensive.

FINAL GRADE: B

4 Reviews in Under 400 Words

The Last Man on Earth (1964)

Based on the same book as I Am Legend (2007), I found this to be more psychologically complex (and so compelling) than the remake. Which isn't to say it's flawless: there are still some elements that just didn't add up, and Vincent Price isn't as likable as Will Smith. Overall, however, The Last Man on Earth is still the better film, delving further into the psyche of a man believed to be the lone survivor of a bacteria that reanimates its slain victims as vampires.

Running with Scissors (2006)
Based on the memoirs of Augusten Burroughs, this film boasts an ensemble cast, but a not-so-ensemble performance. It's... OK. Always quirky and sometimes funny and touching — and yet otherwise so aware of its attempts to fulfill the role of an "Indie" film that it loses its touch. Though if you're intent on watching films cataloging dysfunctional families, you might want to queue it up all the same.

Across the Universe (2007)

Less than 10 minutes into this movie — a musical set in the 1960s to Beatles re-makes — I turned it off. I liked the idea of it better than the execution, foolishly thinking the Beatles songs were more of a "soundtrack" and less so a part of a musical. I was wrong. In typical musical fashion, the characters periodically dance about and burst into song. And with three such instances so early in the film, I knew I didn't have what it takes to sit through more. I learned my lesson with Hairspray.

Good Luck Chuck (2007)
So it turns out Dane Cook is slightly less annoying — and slightly more amusing — in film than he is in his comedy routine (if we can even call what he does "comedy" — I've yet to understand how he became so famous). But that's not to say this film is good, because it isn't. It's crass and offensive, with a few chuckle-worthy lines thrown in here and there. Essentially: it's about a "cursed" man whose ex-girlfriends ALWAYS marry the guy they date right after him. This is all fine and dandy until he meets a klutzy penguin-girl he actually wants to keep around.

The Darjeeling Limited (Movie Review)

If you like Wes Anderson movies, you'll probably like The Darjeeling Limited (2007) well enough.

If you're neutral towards Anderson, you might want to give it a chance.

And if you hate 'em. Well. You'll probably hate this one too.

I thought it was decent enough — better than The Life Aquatic (2004) but not as good as The Royal Tennebaums (2001). But because Anderson so often focuses on characters who live beyond the means of the average American, it is sometimes difficult to relate to his protagonists — though they do often seem to be on a downward trend, a la the South after the Civil War.

And that's the case with The Darjeeling Limited as well. It's about three brothers re-uniting in India a year after the death of their father. They're quirky and dysfunctional — as is the case with all of Anderson's families — with a lust for life that's contrasted by the personal and familial history they desperately long to overcome.

And though their adventures and limitless disposable income are difficult to relate to, their particular struggles are not. The physical loss of one parent; the emotional loss of another. Their attempts to remain close with one another despite very different paths in life. Etc.

Overall, a decent tragi-comedy that — though still quirky — isn't quite as overdone as some of Anderson's other films.

FINAL GRADE: B

The Rules of the Game (Movie Review)

Touted by many as being one of the greatest films ever made, it took me a month to develop enough interest (i.e. boredom with everything else) to finally open the Netflix envelope containing The Rules of the Game (1939/59), and another four weeks to finish watching it.

That is to say, I had a difficult time getting interested in the story, though once I got past all of the discomfort created by the lies and infidelity portrayed in the film — and instead accepted the satirical lens through which director Jean Renoir approached his material — I was hooked. I went from despising the movie to understanding precisely why it was made. Or better yet: why it's so highly regarded among film critics.

Originally shot in the late 1930s, the film was deemed immoral and its negatives were destroyed by the Nazi army. In 1939 Renoir re-edited the film so as to be approved by censors, and it wasn't until 1959 that he released the version most commonly viewed today (in fact, the original, pre-invasion version has long since been lost).

Renoir himself co-stars in this film, which underscores the daily goings-on of French aristocracy and servants alike. The common thread between them is a complete inability to remain true to one's betrothed, with all variety of spouses (rich and poor, male and female) attempting to have their cake and eat it too (excuse the cliche).

Things heat up at a particular dinner party, when the spouses and mistresses all find themselves around a common table, engaging in polite conversation with the very people that they know are attempting to steal away their spouse. But what do they care, when they themselves have secured a little side action?

The end result: a rather tangled web that aptly demonstrates the complexities of the social strata, as well as the common troubles that defy class and gender.

And as is so often true in life, the few "genuine" people among this crowd are the ones most likely to be trampled by the amoral masses.

One complaint about the DVD: this film is in French, and since it is black and white with white subtitles, I had a heckuva time following along. Never mind the four years of French I took...


FINAL GRADE: A-

Beowulf (Movie Review)

Well, this isn't Beowulf (2007) as I remember the epic poem, but it's closer than the previous film adaptation.

Not to mention, I found Robert Zemeckis' use of performance capture animation suited the storyline, and the devices used to fill in narrative gaps (e.g. whatever happened to Grendel's father) were as believable and well-supported as any doctoral dissertation.

That said, Beowulf was a bit bloodier than necessary, overacted, and the airbrushing of Angelina Jolie's naked body was gratuitous in a way that seemed designed only to hold the attention of teenage boys otherwise bored with their AP literature course.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Beowulf is based on the oldest surviving story to ever be recorded in (Old) English. It is about a kingdom plagued by a monster (Grendel), the hero (Beowulf) who arrives to slay the monster, and the mother who seeks vengeance for the death of her son.

Overall, I found this adaption to be "interesting" and a slight improvement over the previous.

FINAL GRADE: C+

Once (Movie Review)

Speaking as a girl who generally despises musicals, Once (2007) symbolizes — for me — everything a musical should be.

Rather than the typical scenario whereby actors suddenly — and unrealistically — burst out into song, Once is far more subtle. It chronicles the interactions of an Irish street musician in Dublin and a Czech ex-patriot peddling roses in the same vicinity.

Though never given names, this "Guy" and "Girl" set about to intermingle their musical proclivity, with his talent on the guitar — and her soft tickling of the ivories — resulting in some rather beautiful, touching melodies.

[Yes, I (legally) downloaded the entire album after my first viewing.]

Thus, the "musical" aspect of this movie is very... fluid. Natural, never forced. But of course a charming Irish boy and an attractive Czech girl can't make beautiful music together without, eh, making beautiful music together.

But for each their love of music — as well as their clear attraction to the other — is punctuated by emotional baggage (who can't relate to that?) and so a fair amount of tension. The end result: possibly the best "musical" I've ever seen, and not at all bad if you instead count it as a "romance" (another genre I generally despise).

It's cute. Funny. Sad. Touching. Well-written. And, at only 80 minutes of run-time, it knows precisely when to quit.

I'll be adding this one to my permanent collection.

FINAL GRADE: A-/A

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