Friday, June 08, 2007

This Is What Happens When George Clooney Comes to Town the Same Night as the Blues

•Carbon emissions radiate from standstill blacktop
•Middle fingers flourish like tulips in Michigan (sans the aromatic benefits)
•Yelling increases ten-fold
•A choir of horns mutes lingering cicadas
•Cars circle in search of parking spots, bypassing empty lots blocked off for no discernible reason
•Cameras flash at they-might-be-famous limos
•Men in street-wear camo unload saxophones and drum sets from double-parked cars
•After 90 minutes spent driving 35 miles in a car with no A/C and only one window that rolls down, girl does loops around the city for an additional 60 minutes in search of a parking spot, only to arrive late and play 15 minutes in a softball game — lost (to the other team), compliments the slaughter rule

There's always next week.

P.S. I still love you, George.


Anonymous said...

The joy of city living. I doubt George Clooney would visit either of the small towns we grew up in and we wouldn't have to worry about finding parking at the softball field.

Still, I would rather live here than there.

Winter said...

How long have you played?

Michael K said...

As a person who is fairly indifferent to the stars, it bothers me when people mess up the whole damn flow of the city when a couple of stars come to town. Sometimes I think it makes my fellow Chicagoans look like a bunch of hicks who have never been anywhere and sometimes I think it is part of the endearing midwestern appeal of this great city. Most of the time I don't think at all. I just curse and tell the tourists to go back to Schaumburg.

Stacy said...

Did george get to sit in the dug out?
Sorry you didn't win.

XOXO said...

Only one window rolls down now? That's so sad.
"Just one more summer with my car" times three

Lee said...

I guess it's a good thing he's cute.