Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Haiku/Gesundheit (Volume XLXI)


on seeing an uncaged bear for the first time


with all due respect
i don't want my face ripped off
please keep your distance
















best. hike. ever.

beautiful vistas
sore muscles big climbs and not
a soul for miles

on attempting to visit canada

part i
three hours wasted
on flared tempers and long lines
there's no turning back

part ii
guess whose officials
were packing heat: ours or theirs?
think i wet myself



all i want out of life is a home
(or, "congratulations to the newlyweds")

so now you're married
and you have a new house too
mind if i move in?
get your hands off my bladder
(an open letter to the tsa)

part i
bag after bag you
wear the same old latex gloves
how'd you like my bras?

part ii
i'd say by proxy
their dirty laundry touched mine
and my camelbak

8 comments:

Woodrow said...

Beautiful pics. You really should've gotten closer to the bear, though.

Winter said...

Whew you are back.

You may entertain me now.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Woodrow - I do wish we'd been a bit closer; I could make him out quite well with binoculars, but my camera couldn't zoom in enough to get a decent shot.

Still, I'd rather be too far away, than too close.

Unfortunately, there was no option for in-between here, as we were at the edge of a cliff, and he was in the valley below.

Stacy said...

Beautiful pictures. So cool you saw a bear. I hate when they fondle my Victoria Secret panties, gives me the creeps! Big time.

michele said...

I know the answer to the question of who's packing heat! pick me!

I was pretty surprised by it too when I first saw it... but it seems to me it's a relatively new phenomena... either that, or it's different in the east vs. west.

Anonymous said...

Looks like a beautiful trip. I would almost say it rivals RMNP, but then, I could never say that. :)

Remember, guns don't kill people, nervous Security People do.
~BPP

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Winter - I wouldn't call what I do here "entertaining," but if you're looking for boring movie reviews and two-bit pictures of random road signs, then you've come to the right place!

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Stacy - No kidding. I mean, they wear gloves, sure. But I suspect they wear the same gloves, bag after bag. The gloves are worn to protect them, not us. It's so gross. I think this time they searched my bag because the Camelbak water bladder set off their snoop-dar. So now I'm all paranoid about how they probably touched someone's dirty underwear in a different bag before they fondled the bite valve on my water source. Yuck.

Michele - Honestly, I never realized crossing the border would be so difficult. I mean, I know they're taking more precautions, but that was ridiculous. Washington tells me the last time he crossed, it took 10 minutes. All he needed was a license. And he was waved in and out in both directions.

The American customs people actually scared me. I thought we were going to get into trouble, though we'd done nothing wrong. It's just the vibe they emanate.

I realize you can't really get an idea of what B.C. is about in two hours. But it sure would've been nice to at least do some light exploring around Vancouver before heading back.

BPP - Sure, I want to feel safe. But the way the TSA and U.S. Customs work, I don't feel safe. I just feel violated.