Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Shortest Story Ever Told

On a recent trip here, I was directed to this.

Go ahead. Click it. It's a pretty interesting list of "six word novels" (new meaning to the term "short story," I s'pose).

Basically, it's a response to Wired's request that big shot writers take a stab at mirroring Hemingway's six word story:

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

As I read over the 33 submissions, I couldn't help but think that no one had truly accomplished what Hemingway had done. The above sentence really tells a story... one you can imagine, from beginning to end.

But that's not to say many of those submissions aren't clever (they are)... just that the original works best for me.

A Few of My Favorites

Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
- Alan Moore

It’s behind you! Hurry before it
- Rockne S. O’Bannon

I’m your future, child. Don’t cry.
- Stephen Baxter

Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses.
- Richard Powers

To save humankind he died again.
- Ben Bova

K.I.A. Baghdad, Aged 18 - Closed Casket
- Richard K. Morgan

Epitaph: He shouldn't have fed it.
- Brian Herbert

He read his obituary with confusion.
- Steven Meretzky



***

As I read over these, I felt compelled to generate a few of my own. Granted, none of these are as good as the above, but it is a fun exercise....
  1. For sale: bulletproof vest. Some damage.
  2. Pete and Repeat: A boating disaster.
  3. Get that kid a better helmet.
  4. Tell me you love me. Please.
  5. One hand claps. Buddhists everywhere applaud.
  6. "Stop!" he shouted. "Or I'll..." BANG!
  7. Once upon a time. The End.
  8. It's all over before it begins.
  9. Once upon a time, she smiled...
  10. The nursing home smelled of circumstance.
  11. Stories upon stories littered the halls.
  12. Untold stories blanketed the padded walls.
  13. Dear John: Return my stuff. Ciao!
  14. Her hopes meant years of loneliness.
  15. For Sale: Engagement ring, slightly used.
  16. His hermitage was marked by fear.
  17. "I have nothing left! To say..."
  18. The dingo's babysitting career was short-lived.
  19. Proud parent of an honors student.
  20. My child's an honor roll student.
  21. I live alone in the city.
  22. She died alone, surrounded by cats.
  23. She lived full of sleep, waiting.
  24. But I only wanted a tune-up!
  25. Give me my monkey, you ape!
  26. Ophelia: Lovely day for a swim!
  27. Columbus: See! The world isn't FLA—
  28. I can't wait to grow up!
  29. Um. You just called me "Stephanie."
  30. My boyfriend is up for parole.
  31. "Nothing's wrong!" she screamed out. "Nothing!"
  32. Does this make my butt big?
  33. I wish you hadn't said that.
  34. I pronounce you husband and strife.
  35. You got my ring on EBAY?!
  36. But he was always so quiet!
  37. Recite pi to the last digit.
  38. Milk, milk, lemonade. Round the corner...
  39. Her existence was sad; sedate. Ordinary.

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

They moved Vietnam to the Tigris.

ds

Anonymous said...

The Third Temple's built. The end.

ds

michele said...

Nice! I like #5 and #25 the best. They're the ones that I can imagine a story for. Now I feel lazy for not having tried my hand at it as well!

Anonymous said...

Gunfire. "I'll get back to you."

Another election year. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Four years. Heavy loans. "Want fries?"

Cold bed. Fading scent. Flowing tears.

Anger. Denial. Confusion. "Is it mine?"

Does it hurt? "Only when I..."

A crowd parts. She's there. Heaven.

I sent one email today. Superfluous.
~BPP

loofrin said...

the check is in the mail.

migraine, again. i vomited alot today.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

DS - You still thinking about starting a blog? I'd love to have more ready access to your thoughts — Love the one about Tigris.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Michele - It's not too late! And thanks for the link... very interesting story.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

BPP — All good, but I especially like the 'gunfire' and 'is it mine?' options.

Anonymous said...

thanks - but you see I hate

ds

XOXO said...

I wanted to avoid making a list of my favorites from your list just on the principal of lists. I just can't resist. #2 makes me think back of the mulitple times we heard that story. #7 is the kind of story my sister would tell me at bedtime. #29 This one makes me have this giggle in my throat that could explode at any second. #18 makes me think of my other sister, as she would repeat the line to that movie over and over. I could seriously go on and on. This has to be one of my most favorite posts.

Eli said...

eat my socks, with feet inside

Anonymous said...

my life story, born,lived,died.

OH YEAH IMA 12-YEAR OLD GENIOUS WHO CANT SPELL GENIOUS MUAWHAHAHAH!!!

Anonymous said...

I gotta shorter 1.

CRACK KILLS!

passer by said...

six words. two already gone. I.

JanetM said...

A late night, she walked alone.

Anonymous said...

Hello there! This post couldn't be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this write-up to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!

My web-site: victorinox for men

Anonymous said...

My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find the
majority of your post's to be what precisely I'm looking for.
Would you offer guest writers to write content to suit
your needs? I wouldn't mind composing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write with regards to here. Again, awesome web site!

Also visit my webpage :: pt.wiki.aktivix.org

Anonymous said...

If some one wishes expert view concerning blogging afterward i propose
him/her to pay a quick visit this weblog, Keep up the pleasant work.


Check out my page radio control airplanes

Anonymous said...

Aw, this was a really nice post. Spending some
time and actual effort to produce a superb article… but what can I say… I put things off a whole lot and never manage to get anything done.


Feel free to surf to my homepage; http://startyouth.com/

Anonymous said...

I've been surfing online greater than 3 hours these days, yet I never discovered any fascinating article like yours. It's lovely value sufficient for me.
In my view, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet
can be much more useful than ever before.

my web blog: watches

Anonymous said...

Unquestionably believe that which you stated.
Your favorite justification seemed to be on the web
the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get annoyed while people think about worries that they plainly do not know about.

You managed to hit the nail upon the top as
well as defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people could take a signal.
Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

Here is my weblog Seo Knowledge

Anonymous said...

What's up to all, it's genuinely a fastidious for me to pay
a visit this site, it includes helpful Information.


my web site: akribos watches for women

Anonymous said...

This is a topic that is near to my heart... Best wishes!

Exactly where are your contact details though?


Review my web page :: online Business Systems

Anonymous said...

What's up, just wanted to mention, I loved this post. It was helpful. Keep on posting!

Have a look at my website :: World Of Tanks Hack

Anonymous said...

Appreciation to my father who stated to me regarding this weblog, this webpage
is in fact remarkable.

Feel free to visit my web blog ps3 jailbreak

Anonymous said...

Heya i am for the first time here. I came across this board and I find
It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others
like you helped me.

My web blog - Install 7Zip

Anonymous said...

Thankfulness to my father who stated to me regarding this weblog, this
web site is really remarkable.

Also visit my blog post - Minecraft Crack