Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Haiku/Gesundheit (Volume XXXIII)

when i grow up i want to be like my nephew

how old were you he
reconsiders how old were
you when you were young
?


tips on using a public restroom at work - part v of a series
(or "urine, an uncomfortable situation")

please refrain from cell
phone use while in the restroom
it makes things awkward
first my shoes and now this
(or "i'm glad the plot was thwarted, but...)

pretty soon they won't
allow passengers on planes
[for your protection]
but seriously folks
(or "all i'm asking for is increased beverage service... and maybe some booties at security checkpoints")

doesn't it bother
you that we're still taking off shoes?
share your foot fungus!
athletes foot: the silent weapon
(or "i smell a subplot")

have the infidels
remove their shoes at checkpoints
too itchy to fight
second grade mentality meets big boy weapons
(or "on hearing that hezbellah guy declare victory")

stop hitting yourself
you're the rubber to my glue
heads i win, tails you...

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

As a member of the flying public, I am waiting for the day we have to fly naked. But I am not waiting for it in a good way.

How does one define victory in a situation like that?
~BPP

XOXO said...

One time this spring I was "blessed" to have to go through security 3 times due to rescheduling and then a cancelled flight. When being searched the second time, and trying not to let the bottoms of my feet rest on the floor, the TSA lady said, "Don't you know you should wear socks."

OK! Here is my question: Do they want me to wear socks with sandals? They tell me to wear shoes I can easily take off, but then I should wear socks. I refuse to look like ninga turtles with the toe thing.

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

BPP - That statement has been eating away at me ever since I heard it...

(As has the media's spinning of the situation, for that matter.)

thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

XO - Even bowling alleys spray shoes with antifungal / antibacterial spray. In those cases, I'd wager your average bowler is wearing socks. So how is wearing socks going to help keep your feet from rubbing up against other dirty feet, if you're putting that dirty sock right back into your shoe without any sort of spray?

I've resolved that, from now on, I'll wear a pair of socks I'll discard after going through security. That's the only option that doesn't gross me out -- barring any generosity on the TSA's part to offer us booties (a la what stores give you to try on shoes).

XOXO said...

You can't throw out perfectly good socks! How often do you really wear your shoes with no socks?