Not a Good Day

Ever have one of those days when you know you're screwed before you even get out of bed?

Like, say, you wake up in the middle of the night to an aftermath of cat vomit, and then later you wake up in a jolt, coughing so hard you honest-to-god worry that your lungs are about to make their grand debut outside of your body cavity?

And what if said coughing fit was immediately preceded by a dream whereby you began choking to death?

And what if, say, you normally set two alarms at night — the "hey, you should get up soon" alarm, and then another that chimes in at the last minute telling you you have to get up, or else — and then you realize at 6:40 a.m. (starring groggy-eyed at the alarm) that you forgot to set Alarm #2 and so only have 10 minutes to get out of bed and get ready for work?

And what if, in your haste, you left your apartment without the Nalgene bottle full of water you pack daily, or even your lunch?

And then, midway to work you pass a gas station and realize gas has finally come down a few cents and — thank God! — you're almost on empty and so will need to fill up when you go out for lunch (you'll have to go out for lunch, after all, since you didn't have time to pack one).

So you make a mental note to yourself, work up a thirst by sprinting from the parking lot to your desk, and then reach for your wallet so you can buy some water only to realize...

That...

Yes...

Your wallet isn't there.

So you go through the permutations of where it might be and are gripped with the terrible fear that you may have dropped it when you briefly went out last night to run an errand — because you're about 90% certain it was in your bag then.

So you call the only person who has spare keys to your apartment. Their work whistle blows about 90 minutes later than yours, so you're hoping they're nearby and can "go check" for that elusive wallet, full of credit cards, cash and — yes — your driver's license.

But the phone just rings. And rings.

And rings.

And you're out of gas. And you have no water, no lunch, no breakfast.

You return to your car, search for your wallet (no luck), and count your spare change (intended for laundry tonight), rationing out enough (you hope) for a couple gallons of gas and (you think) a bottle of water.

And then you remember that gas is $3.14 a gallon, not $2.

But 1 gallon, coupled with the 1/2 you already have in there should be more than enough.

Right?

Right?!

Yes. You tell yourself.

It will be enough.

You log in to your credit accounts online to see if there are any charges you didn't approve (in case you did lose it last night after all).

Nothing so far.

So maybe it's home on top of your desk.

Maybe it's not.

Because even though the circumstances of the day are entirely your doing you know that, most often, the consequences are not.

***
But, anyway. I don't know about you, but I hate days like that.