I Was Attacked by a Fashionable Army(And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt)

Last Friday morning as I walked from my car and into the building where I work, three other females were approaching the door at a similar rate, all from opposite directions. In addition to being dressed in a similar manner, each was carrying one of those fancy-pants handbags — the leather ones where the bag itself is always one hue, whereas the logo is a different shade of the same color, printed in small-type all over the bag. It's Vatton or Coach or Prada. I dunno. Whoever it is, they each had one... different color. Different size. But the same manufacturer, regardless.

There was a strange sort of quiet in the air, and I was — for lack of a better expression — sufficiently "creeped out" by the experience. This feeling was exacerbated when I realized the four of us were going to reach the door at the same time. I knew then, with absolute hilarity, that I was about to be attacked by a Prada ARMY. I grabbed the strap of my $20 Jansport messenger bag, and kept a close eye on their (highly lethal) high heels.