Ellie Mossy Nary

el·ee·mo·sy·nary, adj.
(e-li-ˈmä-sə-ˌner-ē, -ˈmō-; -ˈmä-zə-)
of, relating to, or supported by charity

For the past few years, most of my charitable donations have been directly to people: whether friends or co-workers raising money for a cause, or firemen and Misericordia volunteers at busy intersections.

But a couple months ago another charity — which addresses an illness that most commonly afflicts children, but is also increasingly common in adults — sent me some lovely address labels. I couldn't use them and not pay for them; couple this with the fact that I had long wanted to do something for this particular non-profit, and I decided to go ahead and cut them a check.

It wasn't a huge amount by any means: more than enough to cover the costs of the labels and kick a little fundage into their research.

I wish I could say my story ends there but, alas, this is just the beginning.

Now before I proceed, allow me to say that I understand non-profits send out "gifts" like that precisely because it guilts people into a donation, thereby increasing the likelihood of a response.

But I had no idea what was in store for me.

In the past 12 weeks, I have received at least one new set of address labels every week. And though I would like to report that each set comes from a different charity, in fact the vast majority (though not all) of them have been sent by the original charity to which I donated. In which case, I'm pretty sure they've essentially spent all of the money I sent to them by sending me more labels — and thus more pleas for donations.

I'm terribly conflicted about this, as I do feel an inclination to donate again. And again. And I feel like I can't use the labels in good conscience unless I pay for them. But if they keep sending to me, and I keep paying...

Here's the thing: I don't need this many labels. Heck, I bought a whole bunch when I moved last spring, and I've not even used half of that lot. And now I have hundreds more! Some Halloween themed, general fall themed, winter themed, Christmas themed (three sets from three different charities), underwater themed, rose themed and now — spring themed!

So here's my question: when is enough enough? Do I buy into their gimmick by donating every time they send me something I didn't ask for? Or do I put away my checkbook now, refusing to support a charity — no matter how good its cause or its intentions — that clearly wastes a great deal of money?

Bear in mind, I'm not a wealthy person. And I do volunteer my time, so I "give" to charities in other ways.

But on this issue, I'm torn. Feel like a jerk if I don't donate each time. And a sucker if I do.